would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
