He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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