Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
