Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
