Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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