We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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