Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so that wasnt chicken after all
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The ass gains better be worth it
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