Cold hands, warm shart.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize