I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
