I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
