went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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