So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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