Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
