Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize