:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
