Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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