Me too!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
