I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
