You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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