Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
