apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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