My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize