don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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