yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's always time for handjobs
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
