If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I AM VODKA MAN
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
