she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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