thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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