Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
