this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This house was built for laser tag.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
