Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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