Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
