bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
