yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
