he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
