I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
