highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
