I smell stomach acid.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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