I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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