She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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