So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
