Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
