i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
