I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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