if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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