1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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