well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
