a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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