How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize