dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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