dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
