don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My dick has a subreddit
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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