Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize