I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
