i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
