i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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