We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
