I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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