how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
