I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
