i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
two words: eviction party
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize