Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
